Sex Educator: How to Talk to Young Men About Sex + Respecting Women In a Way That They'll Hear

Talking to your kids about sex can be pretty tricky and uncomfortable, but, especially in this current social climate, we can all agree that it's an extremely important conversation to have — discomfort or not.

What if your tight-lipped teen doesn't want to talk to *you* though?  

Well, that's precisely why studio audience member — and mom of teenage twins — Sandra looked to sex educator, dating coach and relationship expert Shan Boodram for guidance.

Q: "I'm the mother of 19-year-old twins, a girl and a boy. My daughter talks to me about her love life, but my son never does. Should I be bringing it up and asking him about it? And especially in this day and age and this social climate, how can I make sure he's being safe and respectful to women?"

— Sandra, studio audience member

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A: "If social media has taught us anything, it's that people have the right to choose their influencer — who, for them, they feel like looking up to and listening to. Now, for your daughter, that's you, [but] for your son, maybe he wants somebody of the same sex [or] somebody in the same age group. What you can do as a parent is point them in the right direction. I think the greatest tool for youth today is discernment. Because you're given so much information in this easy-access culture, you've gotta know good from bad. And that's by having the basic resources. And you can provide that.

Also, there's some great resources out there. I'm a part of the National Coalition for Sexual Health. They have the five action steps, which is a great basis for sex education. You can point him to clinic locators, so you know his health is being taken care of. So I think you gotta do your research on your end, find those great resources and then just say, 'Take what you'd like.' And just make it very passive.

There's a book that I think all young men should read — everyone should read, period. It's by Dr. Ian Kerner. It's called She Comes First. It talks about what you think it talks about — prioritizing female pleasure — but also prioritizing respect for women, which obviously is so important, especially given the climate we're in."

— Shan Boodram, sex educator

"People should be people, and you should respect each other. Period," Rach adds. "Whether you're talking about the bedroom or your body or your brain."